A pessimist approach to daily activities in business life  * When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place  * Once a job is fouled up,anything done to improve it only makes it worse  * Direct action creates direct reaction  * If you are feeling good don't worry, soon you'll get over it.  * A short cut is the longest distance between two things.  * Everything put together falls apart sooner or later  * Things get worse under pressure  * If a string has one end, then it has another end.  * No books are lost by lending except those you particularly wanted to keep.  * People, who can least afford to pay rent, pay rent  * The other line moves faster  * The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet  * Any tool when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop  * Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough   * If it jams - force it. If it breaks - it needed replacing anyway.  * When all else fails read the instructions  * If you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical writing ignore it. The piece will make perfect sense without it.  * Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.  * In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.  * In time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties.  * Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence  * In any human enterprise work seeks the lowest hierarchal level   * People are always available for work in the past tense  * Worker's dilemma: 1. No Matter how much you do, you'll never do enough 2. What you don't do is always more important than what you do   * Those who can » Do, Those who can not » Teach Those Who can not teach administrate  * Build a system even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it  * If you can not convince them, confuse them  * Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference  * Technology is dominated by two types of people:  Those who understand what they do not manage  Those who manage what they don't understand Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them  * The quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have gotten  * The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for  * After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed  * After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold down screws, it will be discoverd that the gasket has been omitted  * Trivial matters are handled promptly, important matters are never solved  * In order get a loan you must first prove you don't need it  * In order get a loan you must first prove you don't need it  * Anything good in life is either illegal, inmoral ,fattening or a sin  * Friends come and go but enemies accumulate   * To make an enemy do someone a favour   * You have taken yourself too seriously  * In dealing wih their own problems faculty members are the most extreme conservatives; In dealing with other people's problems they are the most extreme liberals  Bağlantı adresi Sadece üyeler içindir!